Self-Acceptance, a term most people talk about in preach-ful sentences and brave adjectives. For me, it has never been as as black and white, as present and absent, it has been a constant battle, brimming with distractions to take away from that peaceful feeling of being ‘okay’ with who you are. As a work in progress, I’m far from acceptance; I am but an example of daily struggle and constant battle. Today, irrespective of what the world says, I’ve come to realize, I’m my own kind of beautiful and here’s why.
This subject is so close to my heart and having discussed it in the past posts, I had to re-iterate again. I’ve come out of self-harm in the last 3 years and even though some days are not as bright and shiny, it’s important for me to pull through. I’ve been a survivor of my own demons and I’ve realized, it’s never going to be easy and all figured out, you will feel out of place and unimportant some days and being an addict of any sort is not the answer. The answer lies in yourself, if you are inclined on competing with others and how beautiful their lives look on the outside, go ahead speak to them, have a heart-to-heart and you’ll realize they might just have the same demons as you. It has been my personal experience, anyone, no matter how they look have similar insecurities as you.
We spend all our time and energy beating ourselves up, trying to be somebody we’re not, and you know what in the grand scheme of things, in the big picture of life, not-being yourself doesn’t account for anything. Whilst, being true to your soul is everything.
Love is hard
Speaking of love, this has been a big pet peeve of mine. I’ve been unlucky in love and since then I’ve kept my heart enclosed. That is a choice I’ve made for now, but there are days when being ‘single’ feels depressing (like today, for example). Whenever that happens, I give myself a moment of ponder and pity and then think to myself, “at the right time, the right person will come along. If it’s not meant to be so far, will hurting speed the process? Not really.” Talking from experience, its not easy to love someone with a lot of baggage and issues, so give people the benefit of the doubt, if they choose to walk away from you because of your past, know that its okay. You must forgive them, they practically didn’t have the energy or experience to handle you at your worst and you don’t deserve that. Love is meant to balance and empower and not be a topsy-turvy mess.
Secondly, a deeper battle for someone in love or longing for it is physical intimacy. Now, whatever size you are, if you feel like your body is not beautiful enough, this one’s for you. The concept is as simple as that – If he didn’t want you for who you are, he wouldn’t be with you and vice versa. Women tend to focus on disrupting details of their bodies and worry and sometimes even cry over it, but really it is just that simple. Be with someone who accepts you and your body, just as it is and is not trying to change you day in and day out. Most importantly, love yourself and your body, because if you don’t, then why will he?
Try this, every morning as you wake up; tell yourself that one physical attribute you’re fond of about yourself. Positive reaffirmations can change your life. Seriously, give it a shot.
Don’t be aloof
When the going gets tough, it’s easier to feel isolated. Stop that wallowing and call someone right away. I’ve never believed in the ideology that all issues can only be resorted at ones own ‘will’, because ‘will’ comes from support and love around you. You need a support system to pull you out of your dark places and the only way to have one is by letting others in. More often than not, your friends will try and understand your issues and make sure you come out of it, if not, eliminate them from your life now.
I hope my experience has enlightened you on the battle of self-acceptance. If you are feeling aloof or down, just drop me a line on firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll share stories and help each other recover and if you’ve come far from such feelings, tell me about your experience and journey, because there is nothing better than a real life happy ending.
I’ve dedicated my new campaign in collaboration with Neal’s Yard Remedies on spreading #AmpleLove with one another. Go one, participate now.
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