“I’ve spent a lot of time the last few days thinking about how I got here. The long hours. The blank pages.
Most people think that writing is a solitary profession, that we spend our days in our imaginary worlds, fighting, loving, dying, but we don’t do it alone. Because anything that’s good in our writing comes from truth, and the truth is I’m here because of the people in my life.”
And as I watched Castle speak those lines, I knew a come back was in order.
It’s like missing an ex-lover, the reminiscence strikes past midnight, the emptiness comes after and I ache to write. When I did decide to stop penning my thoughts, I never envisioned it to be so hard for so long, I imagined it to get easier as it would be one less thing to do and I definitely didn’t imagine coming back to it sooner than later.
However, after what seemed like an eternity of self-imprisonment, I had a thought. The thought was that one day we’re all meant to look back and realize that every experience we’ve ever had, every seeming mistake or blind alley has always been a straight line to who we are meant to be. And not being a writer never did really strike a chord with who I want to become. So, after much contemplation, I’ve decided to give my blog another shot.
You’d think it’ll be easier to come back. I mean for a girl who wants to be a writer, she should know all the right words, all the right ways to fix this and fix herself. But after spending the last 5 hours drafting this post, I don’t think it’ll ever get easier and I’ll just have to make my peace with it. You see sometimes when we look back, we still need a clean slate.
By this time, you may be wondering, why am I talking about my blog as if it was a relationship? Well, it has always been something like that for me; words have helped me build a relationship with myself. They’ve given me clarity, happiness and peace. So it only justifies that I make my amends with this new chapter for my blog. And this time, I want to do things differently.
I shall quote one of my favourite authors, Khaled Hosseini who wrote these words in A Thousand Splendid Suns, “For you, a thousand times over.” And those words have meant the world to me for a while, but I’d like to give it my personal rendition and alter them as, “For myself, a thousand times over.” Because I am my only chance to change…
P.S. The new blog schedule of the blog will be posted tomorrow, so stay tuned xx…<3