When 2015 began, I set myself a goal. The goal was to travel at least three different cities in a year. 11 months and 27 days later, I succeeded in travelling two cities – Hong Kong and Istanbul. And then, last week, I booked myself a getaway to Tbilisi for New Year’s (I’m inclined to add a million exclamation points, but I shall pass).
I’m not one for taking chances or trying something new often. But I guess travelling this year has taught me a thing or two about myself. I’ve learned to get out of my shell when strangers surround me, I’m willing to try and learn something new. Not that my friends wouldn’t be supportive of me venturing out in new directions, but I think it’s me and not them who holds back. And I look back at 2015 as a year where I began connecting with my wilderness and let a few inhibitions go. I still have a long way left, but I think that’s where my 2016 objectives come in.
This year I conquered another fear of mine, getting on camera for Evans Middle East photo-shoot. As a young girl in my teens, I dreamed of revolutionizing the beauty industry and having a role to play in self-acceptance and this year, I took my first step. This was a proud moment and I’m not going to lie, I’ll cherish it for long.
More than anything else, I think I’ve accepted my flaws and I’ve met people who have seen my darkness and taken me in their arms. I’m grateful for their presence, for the smiles that I’ve had with them and for each and every moment they spent sorting my life for me. You know who you are and I love you (*Insert big panda hug*)
Now that we talked about all the things that were a bed of roses, let’s talk about the bad stuff. I err-ed this year, fell into some habits that adversely affected my health (both mentally and physically), I loved and lost (what’s new?) and I let myself wander off in another phase of depression. While there were circumstances and sometimes people, who were responsible for all of this, I also admit that I have been stuck in my ways of trying too hard, becoming insecure far too quickly and overthinking. The past 2-3 weeks, I’ve taken drastic measures to sort my emotions. I use the word ‘sort’ very judiciously, because the way I see it, ‘dealing’ with something practices the presence of a bad quality and learning to live with it. That’s an outlook I’m setting to change, I want to ‘sort’ my shortcomings so I no longer have to ‘deal’ with them.
For that, I have allowed myself to withdraw from situations, because 2015 bought a big revelation, that there can be such a thing as caring far too much. I see nothing wrong with loving too deeply or meaningful attachments, but sometimes the insecurities that we carry innately engraved in us, weigh down on our relationships and for that I’ve decided to withdraw and set boundaries for myself. This doesn’t mean that I practice becoming someone else or I would magically become immune to all the things that have a habit of getting on my nerves. It just means I would take steps on self-preservation and knowing when to let go. It’s probably not the easiest advice I have implemented in 2015, but it’s one that I’m grateful for the most.
Now for the way forward, I’m going to make a few more changes this year and they are:
- Including a form of exercise at least thrice a week and I have already started my yoga routine so I do not stress myself out on 1st of January and set myself up for failure. Slow, steady and wise is the way to go!
- I do think travelling is still going to be my goal and I want to travel the States next year and spend some time with my best friend there and also attend Adele’s concert (#Goals)
- This one’s too close to my heart and probably a wee bit weird. I want to get in touch with my anger a little more. I’m someone who feels frustrated and chooses to look the opposing way and suffer in silence. Since, I’ve associated anger with only negative connotations, I do want to venture out in expressing it in a mindful way.
2016, here’s to looking at you kid ❤
Tell me some of your resolutions?